


The Dead's Final Request

by bookwars



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baking, Dead People, Depressed Castiel, Depressed Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Human Castiel, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-15 03:05:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9215990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookwars/pseuds/bookwars
Summary: Based off the Prompt "I didn't know what to do, I just knew it need to be stopped . Grave after grave . I'm tired of burying  my friends" Warning dark thoughts caused by depression.





	

Dean watched as Mary drove off again, this time with Sam in the passenger seat. She wanted to spend personal weekend with each of her boys alone, to make up for the time  she missed. Dean gave the first weekend to Sam because he had more time with Mary than Sam so far. As they drove away, Dean thought about all the people who should be alive. He could just image Ellen , Jo, and Charlie getting along with Mary to the point where they formed their own group. Ash making everyone drinks as Bobby and Rufus telling stories from their glory days, increasing scarring Kevin and Adam  a little more with each story. John and Mary being happy together. Gabe hitting on Sam. But, that could never happen. All of them were dead because of him. Hell, even Death was dead because of him. He wished he could stop burying people with hunters funerals. Thoughts about joining  them early always came into his head. 

The days were getting harder to live by as if the hell-hounds were chasing him again, though they would offer a peace from a world that keeps dumping its crap onto him, Sam, and Cas. Mary had made things better by helping them get out of jail with the help of the Men of Letters, Crowley, and Cas. But, there are just things a mother can't fix.

Dean headed back inside, to the kitchen to drink his sadness away. He came into find Cas in the kitchen trying to make something .

"Cas, what are you doing?"

Dean's sudden entrance caused Cas to jump, in turn making Dean simile.

"I'm trying to make you a pie"

 "Thank you Cas. You didn't have to do that "

"I know but, the last time I went and tried to get pie things didn't go the best"

"True, but you tried and that's all that matters"

Cas gave him a simile before turning back to the dough, and said " You can help me if you want "

"I would like that". 

They spent a good while just talking and made plans to watch  _Orange is the New Black_   the next night since Dean had never watched before, and watch  _Captain America: Civil War_   after the pie was done.  Dean made a off hand comment that he wasn't special enough for all of Cas's time. This comment made Cas stop and give a hug. Dean stiffed for a second before sinking into the embrace.

"Dean, you're special  . Don't ever forget that, please" Cas said whispering into Dean's ear.

"Thank you, Cas . I need that." Dean said

Cas looked like he wanted to add something else but was cut off from the beeping of the timer.  He took the pie , and got to plates for them. They quietly ate on Dean's Bed in silence as _Captain America: Civil War_ played.

* * *

The next day, Dean woke up feeling much better. Cas, however, wasn't doing great when it came to mental health; some days it took all he had to get out of bed.  Today was one of those days. Since becoming human again, he thought that nobody would miss him when he was gone. Little did he know, it was the opposite that was true.

As the day became night, Dean became increasingly worried about Cas. He hadn't seen his angel all day. When he didn't come for   _Orange is the New Black_ binge, he knew something was wrong. He went to Cas's bedroom and saw that it was cleaned up, which didn't mean anything was wrong. He checked the bathroom . What he found would  be apart of  his nightmares for the rest of his days.

Cas's wrist was red with blood; Dean quickly made his way over and took the razor from Cas, and  fixed Cas's wrist. They slide to the floor, where Dean pulled Cas into his arms holding his angel as close as possible. Quiet sobs caused Dean's shirt to become wet, but he didn't care.

"I should've died a long time ago"

 "No, you should live forever and I love you too much to let before me"

Dean can't believe that he finally said those three little words, wishing his brain had said them at a different time and place.

"I'm a mess Dean. I don't understand how you can love me "

"Because Cas, even though you may be a mess at times, you're still my favorite mess. I wouldn't change a thing about you, and will love you beyond my last breath".

"I love you too Dean"

Any other time, Dean would kissed Cas until they were gasping for breath. But, Cas didn't need that right now.They stayed in that position for a little longer. When Cas fell asleep, Dean realized how tried and emotionally drained he was as well.He couldn't leave his love on the cold bathroom floor. Dean carried Cas to his room and put him under the covers. He turned to leave, when an hand  grabbed his arm.

"Stay?"

Dean couldn't say no, especially after all the things that Cas has said and done for him. Those ocean blue eyes didn't help to say no either.  He got under the covers, and gently pulled Cas into his arms. He felt his shirt starting to get wet again, but didn't say anything.

"Dean?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think it will ever get better?"

He fell asleep  before Dean could answer him. Dean kissed the top of his angel's head before sleep over came him as well.   

* * *

 

The next morning, Dean was the first to wake up. The memories from the night before came flooding back to him . The angel was still in his arms asleep, with the necklace that contained his grace hanging around his neck. Dean doesn't want to believe that he almost lost Cas again. He looked so peaceful in his arms, he just wanted to stay here for the rest of his days no matter how short or long his life was. Cas slowly woke up and looked up into his heaven's eyes. 

"Morning Sunshine"

"Morning Moonbeam"

Dean gave a hearty chuckle at Cas's response, for it was prefect for the relationship. Cas gave him a small smile before it  seemed the memories from the night before came back to him as well. Dean could see that Cas was going to put up his walls again, and he didn't want that to happen.  

"Remember when you told me Friday and you told me I was special?"

Cas nodded his head before adding "Yes, because you're along with being  the most important in my life"

That comment broke his heart all over again.

"Well, the same goes for you as well. You're one of the most important people , along with one of the best things to happen to me.

"Yes, it dose get better" . They kissed just as impala pulled outside the bunker, bringing the rest of the family home.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :)


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